The 1st Day

We arrived at the hospital, and walking in brought back so many memories of when I was admitted

there for my diagnosis of Diabetes-twenty years ago.

I couldn't believe I was going there for my daughter, who most likely had Leukemia.

No one ever thinks that something like "that" can happen to them...

"not me, not my child".

But there I was, terrified.  Not knowing what would happen or how long we would be there.

We were welcomed with the most caring nurses, instantly falling in love with Isabella.

Her spirit is a light, a ray of sunshine, and it's unmistakable. 

Dancing and telling everyone about Halloween was the only thing on her mind.

As I sat there and watched this tiny, perfect little body make every single person in the room fall in love with her,

I couldn't help but smile & cry, tears of happiness and gratefulness that she was mine.

Soon came the pokes, and the tears, and it became all too familiar for me.

A part of me wanted to cry with her, and other part knew I had to be strong for her and help her through it.

I remember my Mom or Dad always being by my side when I was there, and I would do the same for her.

She was so brave, and so cooperative.  She forgave and said "thaaank you" to the nurses.

As the night went on, all of my family showed up...not even hesitating to be there at this hard time.

My heart was filled with gratitude, and the fear and heartache was lightened.

Isabella has no idea how lucky she is to have every single one of them-but one day she will.

They immediately gave her a platelet transfusion, and would get blood in the morning for more testing.

We met one of her doctors, Dr. Fair and talked more about what to expect and the plan.

He was so kind and helpful, we are lucky to have such an amazing doctor to help her!

We all hugged her, said goodbye for then, and her Daddy would stay with her during the night.

Matt has ALWAYS been by her side going to sleep, ever since she was a newborn.

I knew he could handle it, and would be the best comfort to her there.

The night was short, and I didn't sleep hardly at all.

I knew she would be ok, but was scared out of my mind what was to come.

They prepped us that night, telling us how they weren't positive, but in most cases her age-

all the signs and symptoms point to Leukemia.

As I was getting ready to go back to the hospital, I remember looking in the mirror and just bawling.

How was this all real?  How did our lives change so drastically in one day?

How would I be able to handle this?

At that moment, I felt my Grandma Willa's spirit there with me, telling me that it would be ok.

The tears of fear, quickly became tears of relief and I knew I would be able to handle it.

How grateful I am for angels and loved ones on the other side to comfort me in times of need.

Later that morning were told how looking at Bella's blood they could not identify certain Cancer cells.

They needed to actually go into the bone marrow, because sometimes the cancer cells don't leave the bone marrow.

They needed to put her under and get bone marrow from both hips to examine it closer.

Other than her being CRAZY from the anesthesia, the procedure went well.

More waiting was coming our way.  

Asking different people what this could be if it wasn't Leukemia was on our minds.

Every single person we asked (Dr.'s, nurses, etc.) told us that it MOST likely is Leukemia, 

but there is a very rare chance it could be Aplastic Anemia-a bone marrow disease.

But for her age, and her symptoms, it was most likely Leukemia.

I'll never forget being on the phone in the hallway, and one of her Dr.'s- Dr. Fair came up to me.

He said he had been reviewing the bone marrow they had removed, and he just was convinced that

the cells he was seeing in the bone marrow were cancerous cells.

He said he had looked at it so many times, he felt like he was going crazy, so he had brought in other

Dr.'s to look at it  as well, and none of them were positive either.

My heart dropped, and a part of me was excited, but a bigger part of me did not want to be let down.

He said how they would be performing another test called a Flow Test,

which looks closer at the cells and actually can tell if they are cancerous.

In the meantime he wanted to sit down with Matt and I and ask us a few questions about Bella,

incase it was Aplastic Anemia and not Leukemia.  

There are different causes for Aplastic Anemia and he needed to weed out some of the possibilities just by asking us questions.

So we waited some more, being told that they couldn't guarantee results that night, but if they

heard anything they would let us know.

Prayers were being said everywhere, those close to us that knew, prayed harder than they ever had.

Our friends Sasha and Jeucey came with dinner, and as we started to eat, Dr. Fair came through the door.

With a calm look on his face, along with a smile, he told us that it was NOT Leukemia!

Tears of joy strolled down all of our faces, hugs were everywhere, and I was on cloud 9.

We were all so excited and crazy, that little Bella got scared...it was so funny.

We assured her they were "happy tears" and that we were all excited!

We immediately grabbed hands and said a prayer to our Heavenly Father, 

thanking him for this miracle that we had just witnessed.

I knew that prayers were heard, that Bella for whatever reason was spared of Cancer.

In every 50 cases where Leukemia is expected, only 1-2 end up not being that.

She was the miracle.

I have never had a day where I was at the lowest of lows, and highest of highs all within 24 hrs.

Needless to say, we all slept better that night.

Her loved ones who had been praying so hard and earnestly for her were relieved and so happy.

God hears our prayers, and loves us, and I KNEW that whatever was in store with AA, 

I would be able to handle it.  

I felt peace knowing I could, not that it would be easy, but that I could.