Normalcy

If there is one thing I yearn for these days it's "normalcy".

I don't know what to expect each day, and the days where we do just normal, every-day things...

those days are the best!

We started off the day going to PCMC and getting Bella's CBC, liver & kidney, and cyclosporine counts.

It was a morning I wish not to remember at first.  

Waking her up is her least favorite thing-and putting lotion on her port and putting her in the car

to go to the doctor is a recipe for steroid disaster!

But as we started driving in the car, and I looked back at her just crying, I couldn't help but just feel for her.

I felt compassion, I felt sorrow, and I felt overwhelming love for my little munchkin.

This routine is not ideal, and it is not easy on her, and it is definitely not our "normal".

I said a prayer, and I asked for help.

I wanted her to feel and BE happy.  I knew my attitude and my feelings would help her.

I told her how proud I was of her, and how much I loved being with her-even driving to the hospital.

As I started telling her all these things, I saw the fear and sadness leave her little face.

We held hands and we smiled.  We had each other in all this-and that's all we needed.

We started making jokes, and I was so happy to see that contagious little personality come out.

From then on, our day went as good as it could be for doctor appointments and transfusions.

When we came home, we decorated her little tree and she even went out on the balcony to play in the snow 

(1st time since it's snowed)

These little bits of "normalcy" make my day-even though

I realize we have a new definition of normal now-and I am trying to make the best of it.

I know Bella doesn't understand completely that her "normal" has changed, 

and that is what I am most thankful for in all of this.

Transfusions and Tree Decorating made it be a good day!