When there are Ups, there will be Downs

I have learned in all this, you NEVER know what to expect.

Every day is different, every day can bring new challenges.

We have had an awesome couple weeks, and I have tried to appreciate them and take them all in.

Today at her Monday Clinic visit to check her levels, we found out that her Retic levels went down.

They have consistently been raising for the last 3 weeks, and then today they had decreased 6 points.

I felt so confused and sad, I was not expecting that at all.

Her platelets had dropped from 20 to 8 over the weekend (which was normal), so she got a transfusion.

Her neutrophil count slightly increased from .6 to .7-which was good.

Dr. Fair said that the levels can do that, and it's not great-but it doesn't mean they won't continue to rise.

I have not wanted to get too excited about her levels rising, simply to guard my heart incase it doesn't end up working.

I have also wanted to shout it from the rooftops cause I am so excited it IS working.

I feel as though it is a huge blessing, and not accepting it doesn't show my appreciation for the blessings.

So I have been torn telling people...and this reason is why.  You never know what to expect.

I do have Faith, I have Faith in that what needs to happen will happen.

I know Heavenly Father loves Bella more than I realize, and that he will help her.

I know that these low moments make us stronger, make us appreciate the good, and make us turn to him.

So I am putting my Faith in his timing, and I am simply going to try and do my part the best that I can.

I look at her bright blue eyes and that cheesy little smile and I melt.

I want her to be healthy, and I want her to continue to be happy.

I will anxiously await to see what her levels are on Friday...and I might go crazy waiting!